Why?

Am I awake ... I know that Parker will wake up in like six hours. I just finished watching Idol and tonight was odd ... I cried a lot and I saw it in a weird new light. It stared when Scotty the blind guy was singing and his dad and brother were just so proud of him ... his whole life they have been rite by his side and I just find it so touching to watch them be so proud of where he was tonight ... on that stage and so cute!! Then it just got more emotional from there when " Lil rounds " was singing and watching her husband ... he too was sooo proud of his wife who lives to take care of his kids and I couldn't help think about if I was on that stage ... which would be funny and stupid and would also never happen ... but I do practice all the time in the car, any way I think Kyle would be so proud just like "Lil's" husband ... It's weird that something like that can make you value the union between husband and wife and just know that we support each other no matter what, it's nice to know that my husband has my back ... and I guess not only my husband but my friends ... We are all so lucky to have good friends in our lives. I AM THANKFUL for all of my friends. I just feel like I don't even deserve such a great support system ... but know that I value you all so very much. 

I'm not ever pregnant ... just a total wreck!